Crazy New Mommies...

Something that has been on my mind since my daughter was born is the fact that my husband and I decided not to put her name or face on Facebook. Well, that hasn't really been on my mind so much as the reaction that we got. We have a few photos of her up, none where you can get a really good look at her face, but there are a couple that are side profile. There are enough on our pages that friends and family we don't see often can tell we've had a kid, which we thought was well enough. For some however, it's not. Reactions have ranged from "I think its nice that you don't have a ton of photos up!" to "Why can't I see her face!" to my favorite, rumors of a possible disability or facial deformity. What bothered me was that some people thought the only reason I wouldn't plaster photos of my daughter all over Facebook was because I was ashamed of her in some way. For the record, I love my baby, and if I was into putting pictures of her all over Facebook, no almond-shaped eye or cleft-palate would keep me from doing so. I think its wonderful to see photos of all kinds of blessed little creatures, we just decided to keep our one blessed little creature off Facebook for our own reasons. Because this has been on my mind from time to time (and has been questioned of me from time to time as well), I began to really notice other people's kids on Facebook a lot more. Some kids I started seeing A LOT more..... and so I began to wonder if there is a test one can do to establish whether or not one has become a "Crazy New Mommy."  And by "Crazy New Mommy" I am referring to the obviously clinical diagnosis of pushing one's children on others using the social medium that is Facebook. Below is my best, most official shot at a questionnaire for just such an occasion. Answer yes or no to the following questions and then tally your score.

1. Do your status updates frequently include both size and color of bowel movements? Yes or No

2. Do you think that you are the only woman that has ever given birth? Yes or No

3. Do you believe that your baby is, without question, the smartest child that has ever existed? Yes or No

4. Do you often list your child's developmental milestones as your Facebook status, careful to point out that your child is weeks ahead of the timeline laid out for you by the health nurse? Yes or No

5. Do you feel the need to point out to other parents how obviously behind their child is developmentally in comparison to yours? Yes or No

6. Do you often feel the need to explain to other parents how to get their child to sleep through the night, as yours has been doing it since birth? Yes or No

7. Is your child the most beautiful creature that has ever existed? Yes or No

8. Is it your duty to take as many photos of said beautiful creature as humanly possible?  Yes or No

9. If your child is less than 3 months old, do you have more than 200 photos of said child on your Facebook profile? Yes or No

10. If your child is between 3 months and 5 years, do you have more than 1000 photos of said child on your  Facebook profile? Yes or No

11. Do the photo explanations on your Facebook albums include things such as "first time walking on pavement" and "finding a piece of lint on the carpet?" Yes or No

12. Do you often criticize the parenting style of anyone who has chosen a different parenting style than the one you have chosen?  Yes or No

13. Do you often make these criticisms publicly over Facebook or some other form of social media? Yes or No

14. Do you have one child less than 12 months but often impart your vast knowledge of child-raising on anyone with 3 or more children of various ages? Yes or No

15. Are you currently disagreeing with this post and most of the items in this list? Yes or No

If you answered Yes to 6 or more questions, chances are you could be a crazy new mommy..... I myself squeaked in at 5.... Whew!