10 Things...

10 Things I Want to Teach my Daughter Before she Turns 10....

I recently saw a couple of these, and enjoyed them very much, links below
http://blogs.babble.com/toddler-times/2012/07/18/10-things-i-want-my-daughter-to-know/?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=babbleeditors&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=post#i-will-always-be-there-for-you-no-matter-what
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lindsey-mead-russell/ten-things-ten-years-olds-should-know_b_1553134.html
I felt inspired to write one of my own. Below is my list of the top 10 things I hope my daughter learns by the time she turns 10....

1. You are absolutely beautiful. Exquisite. There has never been anyone before who looks exactly like you and there never will be again.

2. Ignore anyone or anything that tries to tell you differently. Be proud of your body and who you are in your own skin. Relish that you look the way you do and don't compare yourself to anyone else. If anyone ever tries making you feel badly about the curve of your leg or the crook of your nose, ditch them. Ditch them fast. Never waste your time with anyone who wants to make you feel badly about your god-given appearance.

3. Please please please don't hurry into wearing make-up and short skirts. You are about to enter junior high and it is a whole different world than the one you will be used to. Please don't ever try to compete with older girls. I know it is incredibly intoxicating to begin to get attention from boys but please, there is so much more to your life than that. Trust me, you will one day get more than enough attention, don't be in a hurry to start getting it as soon as you can.

4. I know you will start to become restless and want to grow up as fast as you can but try as hard as you can  to live and enjoy the now. I know you will feel ugly and awkward and foolish from time to time, but growing up fast won't make you feel any more pretty, graceful or smart... trust me. Childhood is far to short, and you will soon find yourself 23 years old and wishing for the wistful days when you were just 11.... 


5. You are at a magical age right now, please appreciate it. You are old enough and smart enough to begin developing your own opinions and ideals without yet being jaded or tarnished by outside crap (boys, society, your parents, etc...). Hold on to these ideals as long as you possibly can, preferably forever. 


6. Write down all of your ideas and aspirations. Always write. Pour your heart into a journal. Write down every thought, idea, opinion and ideal you have in your head. One day you will enjoy reading these. 


7. You are old enough and smart enough to know what is right and wrong in most situations. Always trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right to you, or you think something is wrong, have the confidence to stick to your beliefs and act accordingly. Don't be afraid to stand up to anyone, even if they are an adult. If you really can't decide what to do in a certain situation, or if you need help dealing with something, please know that you can come to me. I may fail from time to time, but I promise I will try my absolute hardest not to pass judgments or jump to conclusions if you come to me with a problem. I will treasure that you feel you can open up to me.

8. Know that I understand you are human, just as I am. You will make mistakes from time to time, its part of growing up. I may sometimes be hurt, angry, or disappointed in your actions, but it will never change the way I feel about you. 


9. Compassion and empathy are everything. As often as you can, try to widen your viewpoint and consider things from someone else's point of view. You don't need to be a doormat for people, but being open to other points of view is a skill that will take you far in this world. 


10. I will always, without question, be there for you. I am proud to have you as my daughter and nothing will ever change that. The day I gave birth to you was, without question, the greatest day of my life. Please know that you can never screw anything up so badly that I would turn away from you. I love you without limitations or stipulations. As long as there is a breath in my body I will love you and be there for you, no matter what. So please, please never feel that you are unloved or un-loveable, because frankly my dear, you are already loved more than you can possibly imagine. 

Happiness is....

My mornings usually go something like this: little bean wakes up in the early morning hours and I bring her into our bed to feed her and coax her into a couple more hours of sleep. My husband is not such a fan of this, as by the time we wake up, little bean has turned sideways, snuggling her face into mine (though sometimes she pulls my hair!) and placing one or both feet directly onto my husband's throat and face. She kicks in her sleep, you get the idea... One time he even woke up to her grabbing his lower lip with both hands and very enthusiastically pulling down with all her might. But she sighs and snores in her sleep making the sweetest little sounds I have ever heard, so I feel all should be forgiven. Sometime in the night the dog and the cat both make their way onto the bed as well. We must feel generous in our sleep because both the husband and myself end up contorting ourselves into some weird "S" shape while we sleep in order to accommodate both of our fur babies at the bottom of the bed. Occasionally we will wake up and it will dawn on us, "Hey, this is OUR bed!" and make them go and use the two pet beds we have, only to wake up an hour later back at square one. And so it goes, we wake up, contorted into "S" shapes, being kicked in the throat and having our already thinning hair being pulled out. And I love it.... To me, happiness is waking up to a completely overcrowded bed each morning.

Many people think I am crazy. Some are probably horrified that I bring our baby into bed with us, especially with our pets. Everyone is allowed their opinion, and this happens to be mine. There is something wonderful about a family bed, something that doesn't happen during the business of the day, something that I can only really appreciate in the still, quiet hours of the day. 

 Sometimes I get so busy during the day that I forget to appreciate that all of these wonderful beings are HERE! They are here with me, everyday. How lucky am I, that I have all 4 of them. For a long time (well, really only about 7 years) I began to think that I wouldn't have this in my life. A series of failed relationships in my 20's had me convinced that the "family" life was something unattainable for me, and I best devote my time and energy to other things. I began to focus on school and career, thinking if I became successful enough I would be able to adopt one day and build the life that had eluded me. As it often happens, God had other plans for me while I was busy making my plans, and delivered to me everything I had ever dreamed of laying alone at night in a spacious bed, just me and my cat. 

So in the early morning hours, when I wake up because a cat or dog has just perched himself on my feet, or a little baby has rolled over and nuzzled in looking for my breast, or my husband starts snoring.... I smile. I smile and say a little prayer of gratitude that I am this lucky. "You should get a King bed!" I often hear people say, "We should get a California King!" my husband will say... not a chance... :)