Becoming a wife and then a mother was everything I thought it would be... and a little more. Well, to be honest, a LOT more lol! Just a fun, lighthearted little note about some of the things that I now know that I didn't before becoming a mom:
1. Your boobs may be attached to your body, but they are no longer your own. In fact, your husband and baby will have fights over who gets to spend the most time with them. The baby will always win, and the husband will complain of biased officiating.
2. You no longer sleep. You will foolishly think that you will be able to handle it no problem since you survived many a midterms or finals week with little or no sleep. You foolishly forgot that midterms and finals do come to an end.... parenthood does not.
3. You will do more laundry than you ever thought humanly possible. Seriously.... unheard of amounts of laundry.
4. You will buy all sizes of batteries in bulk at Costco often. And you will swear profusely each and every time you attempt to change the batteries in a toy or gadget. Seriously, babies can't work screwdrivers.... so why the hell do they have to make it so difficult to get into those things and change the batteries!!!
5. You will wake up and immediately go over your to do list for the day. It will include such things as: shower, blowdry hair, feed baby, put baby down for naps, eat breakfast, clean kitchen, buy groceries, see grandma, walk the dog, and make dinner. You will then pick 3 or 4 items from the list and spend the entire day trying to get them done. *note, it is not an option to not pick the feeding baby or putting baby down for naps.
6. Putting baby down for naps and at bedtime will take anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours. Plan accordingly.
7. You will attempt to talk about things other than your baby when you go out in public or have people over. You will fail miserably.
8. Everyone everywhere you go will tell you, in great detail, what they think you're doing wrong.
9. Old people love babies. Like, seriously. Any one over the age of 70 is crazy about a baby, as long as its not crying...
10. You can dress your daughter head to toe in pink ruffles... people will still ask you if she's a girl or boy.
11. You will, from time to time, be asked when the next one is due. You will have to contain yourself to keep from punching people occasionally.
12. You re-discover children's books, and it feels like coming home after a very long, long journey.
13. You no longer have to figure out what your priorities are.
14. You realize just how awesome sesame street really is, and sometimes find yourself watching it even after they have gone down for a nap.
and finally....
15. You look down at their tiny chest rise and fall as they are sleeping and realize you had absolutely no idea what love was until now.
