My husband says I over-think things and worry far too much. It is possible that he has a point. It has come to my attention in the last few months that I have given birth to a girl and will, inevitably, have to deal with a pre-teen and then teenage girl at some point.... This thought scares the ever-living piss out of me.... As much as I would prefer it if she would just stay a 7 month old forever (you know, content to just smile at me and can't lip me off or walk anywhere yet) I realize that this preference is futile, and compared to the alternative I would much rather have things the way they are. Nonetheless my little mind worries about the things to come, and below are the list of things I am most frightened of:
1. Barbies/Bratz dolls. I don't know when it happened, but barbie turned into a raging drag queen. No, nevermind, all the drag queens I've seen look good.... these dolls look scary. Like hot-pink eye-shadow up to the eyebrows scary....
2. Trips to the mall. Right now I am scared of the thought of someone taking her. Most likely this fear will change over time to the fear of the dreaded "but I WAAANNNNTTTT it" temper tantrum. Dear God, please give me the strength to take my daughter's hand and rip her out of the mall if I ever see her do the things I have seen other children do while their parents pull out their wallets, unphased by the whining and screaming...
3. Boys. Well, its not really boys that worry me, its their hormones. The ones that take over and cause a normal nice young man to stab his best friend in the arm in order to see a pair of boobs kind of hormones.
4. Actually I will backtrack on that. Its not just nice little boys with hormones that worry me. Older boys scare the crap out of me. Dear lord, please give her the vision to see that if she is in grade 9 and a guy in grade 12 wants to be her boyfriend, its because none of the girls in grade 12, 11 or 10 want to go near him. God help any man over the age of 18 that ever comes to my door to pick up my teenage daughter.... for he will soon be missing some important body parts...
But leading from that....
5. The gay marriage debate. May my daughter, by the time she is 45 and ready to lose her virginity on her wedding night, be able to lose that virginity to whomever she wants. Let her and my future grandchildren be in a world where there is just marriage and not "gay-marriage."
6. Drinking and Drug use. I know it will happen... but please dear Lord, lead her towards one or two sips of Boons and away from the Tequila body shots, and to experiment once or twice with the green stuff but not anything else. May that pretty little nose stay as clean as her mother's.
7. The Flames.... If you are anything other than an Oilers fan I don't know if your father could ever forgive you....
8. Cutting/ Safety Pins through the skin/ Whatever else kids are doing these days. Dear Lord if she is ever in so much pain that she feels the need to cut her flesh, please please please lead her to me so I can pour love all over her hurts. And if she starts putting weird things in weird places only because her friends think its cool that she put a safety pin through the back of her neck... please please please lead me to her so I can slap her silly.
9. Other Girls. Girls can be mean.... mean mean mean.... Please Please Please God, let her meet some nice friends. Ones that aren't too pretty or popular but who are exceptionally smart and well read. Ones that will stay up all night at sleep overs and braid her hair and keep all her secrets....
10. Driving in a vehicle, at anytime, anywhere, with anyone. I am starting to loathe whomever thought it would be a good idea to put us all in little metal boxes so we could zing around the country at 120 Km per hour, governed only by little lines painted on the ground and pretty changing lights. Whomever it was certainly wasn't someone's mother....
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